Barbara Gibson, ABC
Think you speak English? I always did. Granted, at times it was with a slight Oklahoma twang. But having spent my entire life speaking the language, I felt pretty confident about my fluency. Then I moved to the UK, and found that my version of English is a foreign language, and that words are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to communicating across cultures.
Now that I’ve been in London for several years, I can spot an American long before I hear the accent. Riding the Tube (the subway system), the Americans are the ones starting conversations with everyone around them, telling their whole life stories at the drop of a hat. The Brits, on the other hand, are avoiding eye contact, reading newspapers, and pretending to be invisible. It’s just not done. One doesn’t talk to strangers.
Well, there are exceptions, of course. A brief commiseration about the weather is acceptable, but certainly not an extended conversation. The real problem comes when the friendly American initiates a conversation, because the Brit’s cultural rules also require politeness, regardless of the discomfort. The American walks away from the conversation thinking they’ve got a new best friend. The Brit is just relieved it’s over, and needs a cup of tea.
After six years here, I understand how they feel. I’ve experienced a gradual cultural shift, and in some ways I feel more British than American. But in the early days, the differences in our cultures confused me, and created barriers to effective communication. My accent, my personal style, everything about me, made me an outsider. If I ever wanted to find work here, I needed to learn and understand the differences, to think like my audiences.
Fortunately, I had a ready-made learning ground in IABC. A long-time member in the U.S., I immediately got in touch with the local IABC chapter, and volunteered to serve in any capacity they needed. Within weeks of arriving, I was serving on the chapter board, gaining valuable experience, making contacts. I quickly learned one of the most important lessons of cross-cultural communication: listen first, ask questions, don’t assume that “the way we do it back home” is right.
Funnily enough, it comes back to the title of this blog, and IABC’s tag line, “Be Heard.” If you want to communicate effectively, to be heard, you have to be willing to truly hear and understand those with whom you’re trying to communicate. You have to be open to hearing things you don’t want to hear, to actually seek it out. One-way communication isn’t actually communication, it’s arrogance. Whether you’re communicating with folks in your own home town or half way around the world, it helps to listen more than speak.
Barb will expand on this topic at our luncheon on Thursday, March 26 at the House of Blues. Register now.
Thanks to Pennebaker fifthring and A Brink & Co. for sponsoring the luncheon.
